Mega List of Pick-Up Lines

  1. That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed...
  2. Fuck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Alexandria?
  3. Do you want to see something swell?
    Drop 'em.
  4. What do you like for breakfast?
  5. Hi there! I'm interested in having breakfast with you. Can I call you or nudge you?
  6. Excuse me. Do you wanna f**k or should I apologize?
  7. Italian : Have you got a little Italian in you?
    She: Uh...no....
    Italian: Well, do you want some?
  8. Pardon me but I was just about to go home and masturbate and I was wondering if you'd mind if I fantasize about you?
  9. Why don't you come on over here, sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
  10. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
  11. Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
  12. Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
  13. Walk over to a table occupied by ladies, whip out your `pud' and say:
    Hey charlie, see anyone here you recognize?
  14. Motion your finger to a girl to get her to come your way.
    When she arrives say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would c*m."
  15. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k?
    What's the matter, don't like pizza?
  16. Suck my dick or I'll blow your fucking head off. [requires a gun]
  17. Bond. James Bond.
  18. You know, I'd really love to fuck your brains out, but it appears someone beat me to it.
  19. Hello, Love, - Do you spit or swallow?
  20. FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS:
    1. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE IN THE FRONT OF THE PERSON WHO YOU'RE TRYING TO ATTRACT.
    2. PUT YOUR HANDS IN A VERTICAL PLANE AND SEPERATE YOUR HANDS TO THE PROPER DISTANCE YOU WANT TO GET ACROSS.
    3. LOOK AT THE PERSON OF YOUR AFFECTIONS AND WITH A SHIT EATING-EAR TO EAR GRIN SHAKE YOUR HEAD UP AND DOWN AS TO REPLY THAT YOU'RE THIS BIG!
  21. Your face or Mine??
  22. Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, article of clothing)?
    Him: I like nothing better.
  23. The best pickup line I witnessed was a friend of mine who walked up to a young lady in a club and asked "Are you ready to go home now?"
    They left together.
  24. If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold IT against me?
  25. Take off that dress and fuck my brains out you cave newt.
  26. Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
  27. I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
  28. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
  29. Wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.
  30. If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.
  31. I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
  32. Excuse me, have I fu**ed you yet?
  33. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something else.
  34. Ever tried those wierd prickly condoms?" (sure to get responses)
  35. Top Ten Elf Pickup Lines:
    10. "I'm down here."
    9. "Just because I've got bells on my shoes doesn't mean I'm a sissy."
    8. "I was once a lawn ornament for John Bon Jovi."
    7. "I can get you off the naughty list."
    6. "I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys."
    5. "I'm a magical being. Take off your bra."
    4. "No, no. I don't bake cookies. You're thinking of those dorks over at Keebler."
    3. "I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man."
    2. "You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig."
    1. "I can eat my weight in cocktail wieners."
    -- Late Night with David Letterman, from Michael Wertheim
  36. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
  37. "Hey... somebody farted. Let's get out of here."
  38. The most common pick-up line used in a gay bar:
    "May I push in your stool?"
  39. Fancy a fuck?
  40. My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
  41. There's always Harlan Ellison's great failure:
    Q: Wha'dya say to a little fuck?
    A: Go away, little fuck.

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